Campfires Amid the Night
by Fate Hedgehog
Summary: My first Digimon poem. Tonight in the Digital World, only one soul is awake. . .Please R&R .


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Campfires Amid the Night

[Fate Hedgehog][1]

I sit there, gracing the middle of the night

I couldn't sleep anymore, awoken by my fright.

I know what I fear it but I don't know why I fight.

All these feelings I continually oppress.

* * *

I stare at the campfire, a representation of my heart

Burning completely with love but I am torn apart

Because I know I hadn't courage to admit from the start

And because I can't now, I'm depressed.

* * *

Around me my friends and their companions don

Protective flanks to make sure we survive on our own.

But even with these precautions I feel utterly alone

By myself, in the solicitude of the night.

* * *

I am their protector, for the moment, their watchful

For should I notice trouble I wake them with a call.

But I don't want to contact them because of my troubles at all

I don't want anyone to share in my strife.

* * *

My own companion is asleep at my side

Saving up her energy to protect me by and by.

I turn hesitantly to ponder whether to confide

The truth unto whom I hold dear.

* * *

Asleep himself, leaning on a tree is the boy I adore.

It's so easy but I find it quite the daunting chore

To tell him the truth, what my heart has in store.

I restrain my love for him by fear?

* * *

It's almost longingly that I stare at him today

With so much on my mind, so much I have to say

Yet for some reason I hinder, keeping close but away;

I don't know what I should do.

* * *

I see so little of his smile yet I cannot get enough,

I know his warmth and compassion, though outside he's tough.

All his feelings and emotions he tries so hard to bluff

But I can see through him; I know all this to be true.

* * *

I am merely a girl named Mimi sitting by the fire

My chances make me feel belittled but I conspire

And plan for the day when I finally lift my heart higher

And tell him how I have and always will feel.

* * *

I know I'll feel broken if rejected even the least

And I know that my heart's beating will have ceased

To lose so quickly one who my love will never release

And gain a wound that will never heal?

* * *

Oh, I can't stand it any longer! I just have to tell.

I can't stay here staring with my heart in turmoil.

My emotions are seething as if they were in a boil

Over the decision my heart is trying to make.

* * *

I slowly stand, where courage came from I don't know

To face my anxiety, perhaps tell him how I love him so.

I very slowly make my way over, my heart racing as I go.

I have to tell him for both of our sake.

* * *

As I draw closer the moonlight high-lights his face:

Flowing blonde hair, which many a time I wish to place

My tender hand in to run though and my fingers interlace

As so many times it has seems to bade.

* * *

Two lips, moist and look to almost insist,

As he slept with them slightly puckered, pure bliss

If I were bold enough to just one day kiss.

Oh, for a dream to become reality.

* * *

A dainty nose, defined and remarkably 'cute';

A voice that would drown the best singer mute;

His broad shoulders…all that I hold as truth.

If only my love to him he would once see.

* * *

And, if they were open, I would see his eyes - 

Brown pans of hidden compassion that he hides

Only showing devotion and sorrow of longing cries.

How I'd love to just kiss them make sorrow go away.

* * *

But, I having finally arrived after what seemed like a mile

My heart dropped like stone and a frown replaced a smile

All the courage I mustered to put my love to final trial

Has dwindled in the end. I moan softly, now feeling at bay.

* * *

There only inches before me, the one I seek has lain down

His face silent, features and appearance still, mouth in half-frown.

My tenseness grows as I stand in his presence as a miniscule soun'.

Humbly, if he wakes, I'll speak my peace.

* * *

I kneel down on my toes, still staring right at his still expression

Wondering if I still have the courage to touch, leave an impression.

But as my finger does not budge from my limp hand from tension

It strikes me that I may ignore my heart's decrees.

* * *

There comes a tear from my eye that I may be inadequate

Finding it impossible to complete the task my heart set

For I know if I can't do what my love for him wants, what I fret

I know that I won't be able to live with myself.

* * *

My finger is limp and that lone tear slowly slips down my cheek

For the first time since I can remember I feel completely weak

Unable to do anything. Oh, how this feeling makes me bleak

Unable to do anything, paralyzed in amor's stealth.

* * *

I wipe away the tear and hope I still can remain bold,

My strength and courage giving out, sit there, sad and dole.

I consider over the times I've known him and have decided after all

That if I can't tell him now, I would rather be dead.

* * *

I wallow in my pity for that moment, my own pity to myself

And then a faint voice cries from deep below in a sort of a yelp:

"You must do this, Mimi, you can't back away! Do it for your yourself!"

And it is this correct voice, tells me what to do, I dread.

* * *

Amassing what's left of the courage I used to get to here

I lean down the tree bracing my hand, close to his ear.

My attempts now lean me further, closer for it to be clear

That I have decided to just tell him.

* * *

But I find with much frustration in that very same trade

That the sweet voice I knew I once had, now has fade.

The voice of confidence that I've talked to him once a day

Has become lost when I tell my heart's whim.

* * *

I move back on the ground, not able to say in words

What my heart is dying to tell. I curse myself inwards.

My face scrunches in disgust, I turn my nose upwards

Because I can't even get out any of my desire.

* * *

I repeatedly clench my fists as if trying to vent anger

But I know that only cowards try this to draw-out and linger

So I open my teary eyes again and looks up, having lost ginger

Since this difficult task started to feel so dire.

* * *

My courage is almost completely gone, little spirit left to use

To do what I wanted. If this situation didn't worry me to lose

The one whom I love, and may love me back if he chose,

All due to a careless mistake I can cause.

* * *

With what I have left, I lean back over his shoulder on the tree

And hope that what's left in my soul is enough to make be

The lust and the force which drives me to love the one whom I see.

And slowly, very gently, I draw nearer without pause.

* * *

I pucker my own lips and hope for my heart's best

As I close my eyes and lean over him, my love test.

I move closer to his face, trying not to get messed

His face within my golden brown 'locks of hair.

* * *

My heart races faster and faster as I come close to my love,

My confidence seems lifted as if it were on the wing of a dove

And I blush to myself as I think of what I hope to discov'.

At this point, to speak of, I have no other care.

* * *

But then, with a sudden jolt, I come to a sickening stop

As if whatever was pushing me onwards had just given up.

I strain to continue onwards. I feel my arm would just pop

From the stress to move the hand within my glove.

* * *

Opening my eyes, I come awake of another shock:

I have stopped within mere centimeters from lip-lock

With the one whom sleeps so soundly. I try to flock

The confidence in myself and show him my love.

* * *

But a force holds me away from him, it is again fear.

My heart conflicts with my mind for movements so dear

But it just ends up with me shaking and shivering as I rear

And sit back-up in lamentable blight.

* * *

My arms flat out to my sides in fists, my face downwards in shame,

Tears roll from my eyes and down my cheeks from my self-blame.

A sniffle, a sob escapes. I can't do it. I feel helpless and lame.

I stand up in a fever, collapsing on my own might.

* * *

I jump erect in anger, fear and loss at the hapless event.

Confusion over-takes me; so much…too much to vent.

I storm back over to the fire, still wallowing in self-discontent

And wishing I would just reach my end.

* * *

I slump back down onto the log by the fire I sat before

And my head, tear flowing, falls into my two hands poor.

And I start to shiver and shake unlike I would ever-more

In pity and desolation - an unknown trend.

* * *

I break out crying for real in sobs and sniffles without care

If I should wake anyone in the process and I just aimlessly stare

At the fire before me slowly beginning to drown and in a flair

Consider if that death would be of too little pain.

* * *

I've known Matt ever since I've seen him on the camp bus

That took us before we were ripped into this major fuss.

Since then, to him I haven't been able to fess-up my lust

And my heart has gotten worse and I began to feign.

* * *

I hid those feelings I felt for him deep, tucked them down

So I wouldn't harm either of us but my heart would pound

Every time I'd see him, which then grew when we became bound

To both be the heroes in this fight.

* * *

And every time I worked myself up to try and tell finally what I felt

I would lose my bravado at the last second and start to silently yelp

Because I know that I'm always alone in life. I try to make lies that don't help.

And now, I know only my death is right.

* * *

Before I could jump forward, escape what may as well be lies

A firm grip grabbed my shoulder and caught me by surprise.

I timidly turn my head ever so slowly and, through tears in my eyes,

See the face of my loved one standing over me - Matt.

* * *

His face looks at me devotedly but with hint of the sorrow of lost

And he stands there momentarily judging what was the cost

That put me in the position I am now found, tear glossed.

If only he knew what I was crying for or even at.

* * *

"Mimi?" He said, crossing to sit at my other side

"What's wrong, girl? Please, tell me, don't hide

Your feelings away. I don't want to see you abide

Those tears and sobs coming from you."

* * *

I don't know what came over me for after another tear

I told him about everything that troubled me now and here.

I told him about my hapless visit and then how I felt jeer

Because I couldn't tell him what I thought true.

* * *

And when I told him of how I thought to take my own life in pain

His sudden surprising look hit me harder than hail or the hardest rain.

I could almost hear a voice within me saying that I had to be slain

Like I never existed; hurt no one else with care.

* * *

Matt looked at me with pity, I could see it in his smile

And then reached over and seeing how I was now in beguile

Put his hand across my shoulders and after a short while

I looked in question and he said softly: "Don't stare."

* * *

"Mimi, you shouldn't of kept this story hidden. I wanted to know

Myself if you liked me. Because…well, I know I love you so.

I may not show it to the others and might find it hard to show

But I care for you very much."

* * *

"I know what you've been through, with this. I've been there.

Ever since I first met you in the camp bus, I wanted to care

And show you how much I wanted to comfort you felt a scare.

But I didn't know how to express this lust."

* * *

I felt my heart resurface in a beat as we looked into each other's eyes

And through my tears, stuttered "You…you mean it?" through my cries.

And for a moment he blushed and answered: "Yes, wholeheartedly" through the lies

That I found that I had created to play an empty part.

* * *

I threw my arms about his neck, a move that surprised even him

And laid my head on his shoulder, still crying on a happy whim.

I knew I'd never be able to truly thank for help me, from drowning, swim

And save me from the darkness of my heart.

* * *

He then reached his arm about me and I rest my head on his chest 

Not knowing whether this moment would last. At least I did my best

And proved that I could do it and tell what I knew, even if not with zest

That I loved him and, I found, he loved me.

* * *

I think it was probably right in front of me the entire time

But I never knew that it was there, was it that much sublime?

I don't remember right now; but then I don't want that to chime.

I just want to drift away in tearful glee.

* * *

As the campfire slowly went out before us two, I felt something creep:

The slow and blissful rhythm of Matt's heart helped me go to sleep.

In his secure arms about me at all times, I became into a tired heap.

But he minded neither my clinging to him nor loss of light.

* * *

Matt stood watch over me and the camp when his turn had past gone.

His breathe I could almost feel on my neck even though I asleep long.

And when he kissed me later that night after he had chanted a romantic song

Both of our Crests brightly glowed - campfires amid the night.

__

[Legal Mumbo-Jumbo: I don't own Digimon, I don't own [_Fanfiction.net_][2]_ (I am only affiliated with it) and about all I own is this fanfic itself so be the last thing you do is sue me for it. K?]_

   [1]: fate445687@aol.com
   [2]: fanfiction.net



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